A Short Story

This is an excerpt from the story ‘The Shepherd Boy’ by Brothers Grimm. The narrator has added his own style to it. A similar speech has been used in the series Doctor Who in the episode Heaven Sent.


“How many seconds in eternity?”, you ask.
“There’s a mountain just outside the feilds of Svithjod, made of pure diamond. It takes an hour long to climb it, and an hour to go around. Everyday, a little bird comes to sharpen its beak upon the mountain and wears it away little by little, day by day. When that final piece of diamond would have chiseled away, the first second of eternity would have passed.”


Some people listen to the story and think, “Well, that’s one hell of a long time”.

Some people listen to the story and think, “Well, that’s one hell of a bird”.


Through the looking grass

A Stoned Blogger

With an irrelevant picture that subconciously distracts you from the low quality content 

**/ Dear Government Intelligence Agencies, this work is completely fictional and I do not know where or how or who deals in/with cannabis/**

The experience of good quality grass enjoyed with a group of good friends is hard to explain. We talk about things which should not be trifled with. Things like

“What if we fry a boiled egg?”

“Who is John Galt?”

“What was going on in his mind when man first learned to milk a cow?”

“Does buffalo salad contain buffalo or chicken?”

“Why do all the fans rotate  anti-clockwise?”

“How can I can a can as canners can a can?”

“Maybe it wasn’t the killing curse that struck Harry”

” Maybe winter came before the chicken or egg”

“What if everything isn’t grey, just plain black and white; what would happen to Sasha Grey or Christian Grey?”

Sometimes we even talk of everyday issues:

-An electron would float everywhere if an atom were to be isolated.

-The only identity of our’s is the brain. If we could preserve the brain, we could theoretically preserve ourselves.

-There is no continuity in matter. Yet, there are definite boundaries of objects.

-The Raven just reflected Poe’s dark inner fears, just like the three witches did Hamlet’s.

-You can mix red and white to get yellow paint, you just have to add a little yellow paint first.

– If edward could hear thoughts, why didn’t he hear Alice’s when she was seeing the future?

-Stirring is more effective when done in criss-cross rather than circular.

-You can not eliminate faliures, you just have to maximize success.
We are rare gems eh? We have long debated about happiness and how can it hinder true development. We know how being happy is a bit overrated, while being content is the true object to be coveted. We think of how we are a product of our environment, yet how the environment is a projection of our own minds. We wonder the fragility of our beliefs and how one carefully worded question peirces them. We talk of the coherence of basic thought processes between friends, limitations of imagination, the purpose of existence, the illusion of understanding, the boundaries between contradiction & the concept of boundaries without limitation.

But we never seem to remeber any good ideas after we have sobered up, maybe the ideas dissolve away into oblivion to increase the overall entropy of our universe.

If you gonna die…

Die with your boots on.

Something to Keep you motivated

I won’t lie. The enemy is strong. You have to be on your toes for your survival (also a good calf exercise). We have got to prepare ourselves.

We will be crushed, we will be broken, but we will not stop. We will rewrite the story of this war where we defeated the enemy using Mac and Cheese. We will stand for everything which is sacred: potatoes, black salt, cats and most importantly, Green Vegetables. Never has the opportunity sounded more glorious. We will rise to the heights and push the enemy from the top. Our children will read the poems of the enemy tumbling down the hill instead of fat Jack and plump Jill. We will cut down Jack’s beanstalk and make the giant fall down. (Jack seems to be too much associated with heights, I’ll have to investigate further).

(If you’ve read Tolkien) A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!

The point is not to win. The point is not to defeat the enemy, but to make them afraid. I call upon you, my friends from chaos; to come forth and defeat the enemy from darkness beyond darkness.

*Play ride of Valkyries as background music*

*Goes to the nearest mental hospital to get his head checked*