An Interview

In case I ever become famous (which is very probable and will happen very soon), I don’t want to be that person who wastes his time surrounded by reporters and photographers all the time. My time will be used up in more productive persuits like making dehydrated water, refillable refills, re-lightable matchsticks, a seven shot pistol, mascara that fades away after 6 hours, a clock that rotates anti-clockwise, etc (you get the general idea).

Naturally, the media will be after me, trying to get my story published, earlier than their competitors. Well boo hoo! I beat them all to it. I have interviewed myself. You guys can use the interview to generate more traffic for your blog.

Moving on, let’s waste some more time. I want to give you the perfect buildup. Our world has a very limited time. People want to waste it very sparingly. The main point of an interview is for the audience/visuience to know the interviewee. (I could have written an “about” page. But since when did I start following my own thoughts?) So here I am, giving you the much unawaited interview. Just a little disclaimer though: All questions and answers in this “interview” are fictional. But that does not make them untrue or fake. I have tried my best to keep the questions offensive,but I can’t please everyone; I am not a pizza. (Re-re-reading my blog, I DO HAVE an about page. Well, I fancied another section about me. Shoot me!)

The Interview:
Me: Hello and welcome. Our readers would like to know a little bit about you.
Also Me: Thanks for having me. I am not a very interesting person to know. Just your average guy next door. I write blogs and read them too. In between, I manage to run a small business.
Me: How did your writing journey began?
Also Me: I began writing in my elementary school. The teachers tell me that I was very bad at it. I was intrigued by that. I wanted to do something I am bad at. Seriously though, diary and journal writing was a habit I had to develop over time. I had read that many great leaders used to maintain their daily records, I wanted to become great like them. It all started with writing down lyrics from favourite songs. Once or twice I wrote down things that were bothering me. Something magical happened at that moment. Writing became my therapy, my outlet for unnamed emotions. Suddenly I could take my thoughts out and re-think them as per my requirement. It was handier than a pensive in Harry Potter.
Me: Wow thanks. Although I’d prefer you give out short answers. Good for the featured list and radio friendly too.
Also Me: ,|,,(-_-),,|,
Me (After a pause) : Any particular influences that helped define your writing style?
Also Me: Not any one particular blog. I have taken influences from various authors, bloggers, lyricists, poets, content writers, painters, drawers (they who draw), reporters, journalists (they who write a journal) and many more. Feynman’s Lectures on Physics, a very popular blog called unbolt.me , Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead, Sherlock Holmes’ stories and Methods Of Rationality changed my perspective drastically. My writing style is borrowed, stolen, inspired and modified form of all the things I have read. But somehow, everything feels so personal too. I would have hated myself if I merely copied them. Instead all of their thoughts, their way of expression were interpreted by me and are presented here in the things I write.
Me: Any recommendations for the new upcoming blogger?
Also Me: Yes. Stop writing!
Me: Excuse me?…. I mean… Please elaborate why shouldn’t they write.
Also Me: I think writers, authors, bloggers, musicians and all artists in general, try to shove their points down others’ throats. I get it, Mundane Monday Challenges, Hundred word story Challenge, A quote a day challenge, Typing with your left hand challenge are fun; but their aim is to let the writing juices flow and not become the only thing people talk about. An artist creates his art to express what is inexpressible using day to day tools. If there ever was a time where you thought that you’d explode if you didn’t let the idea out, then you know what I am talking about. So yeah, don’t write because you can. Write because you can’t not.
Me: That’s really deep. Especially coming from someone who’s blog has URL “a chaotic state of mind”
*Sound of punching and breaking vases on interviewer’s head*
Me: I meant that it was a very unusual title. Why did you choose such a name?
Also Me: I have tried to think about thinking and its processes. The hows, whens and the whys of thought formation and their transition to actions and memories. Some thoughts become memories because of emotional attachment, some because of their utility while others because of their absurdity. Once these memories are stored, they become strangely attached and intertwined. The only way I can define these memories and thoughts is through the word chaos. Hence the name.
Me: Looks like someone has been using a lot of thesaurus lately.
*Sound of slapping on cheeks*
Also Me: Well, you were asking for it.
Me: No way. All I asked for was an interview.
Me: Referring to the so called “deleted” post, who was that girl?
Also Me: She goes by the name ‘none of your business’. That story is mind’s version of whatever had happened between her and me. Nothing more, nothing less. Now be a good Elsa and let it go.
Me: Okay. All right. Let’s talk about the weather.
Also Me: Something about the Interview please.
Me: Yeah.. Thanks for the interview. It was really…okay-ish.
*Sounds of pushing someone out and banging of door*
*Angrily murmurs*

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A Writer’s Block

Or do you prefer if I call it the Blogger’s block? How about a blog’s block? Sometimes I just want my monkey brain to not make a racket every time I try to concentrate.

Note (or do not note; I really can’t command you) : This is provided as an actual insight to whatever happens during a writer’s block. You all will probably have had the same sets of thoughts some time or the other. Even if you used different words like bottled up feelings or hollow emptiness, I am pretty sure you will understand what I was thinking .I know my writing (typing) style takes a hell lot of time to get used to; but 21 posts is enough. If you don’t want me to continue, dear lord, please do not give me a sign. *Waits* *Nothing Happens* Thank you.

I don’t consider myself a writer, I don’t write regular columns or rows for big-traffic generating websites. I don’t even know if I should label myself as a blogger. What are the minimum requirements? Do I have to have a mac? Do I need a certain number of posts? Should I write with certain frequency? Is there a minimum number of views and likes required? Do I need a custom domain? Or do I have to add my profile picture or a random nature pic after every post? Or does it depend on the number of comments my blog has? Do I have to be featured in the weekly newsletter? Must I visit some remote locations and try street food and review it? Maybe I should be struggling for some sort of breakthrough that’ll make me famous overnight.

Dear WP administrators, maybe you should update your “frequently” asked questions. I am sure I am more curious about myself rather than how WP works. 😛

Now, the writer’s block is a period when a writer is stuck creatively. He/she is not able to continue his unfinished works and struggles to write new things. This is where majority of us are most of the time. I mean I have to crawl through mental sewage of ideas just to put up a decent headline. I can not imagine Robert Brown writing Da Vinci’s Code and Angels & Demons one after the other while suffering from a block once in a month or so. Actually scratch that.  That is probably exactly what happened. But for most of us, we are stuck most of the time. And we need not make an unnecessary blog post about it.

Then there is this other thing called internet. It has all the recipes for getting out of any situation. I think I have even read a how-to about How To Be A God. This means that theoretically, we have the solution even before the problem is fully developed. This is where we have lost. The enemy has found our one weakness: we have the solution to ALL of the problems. What we lack is the knowledge of all the problems.

Too much eh? I know.  This is why I prefer to write about concrete topics. At least you don’t get to judge me based on the content. Yup, I’ll post 10 fun and interesting facts next time. Just to be by myself. *Insert the boring closing line about entropy continuing to increase*.

 

 

 

 

My turn at word prompts

I hate these word prompts. They are a strange mix of bounded freedom. Somehow it makes me feel more entrapped than haiku, limerick or word-limit. So, to celebrate my hate towards something popular, I have decided to dedicate a special place in my blog. I know, I am acting like a hypocrite right now. But the main question is…… why did I decide to write a post after a month instead of in a fortnight? Gotcha eh! You can not predict my decisions just after ten blog posts. Maybe after 15, and definitely after 20. Yep, 20th is the new first. Now begins my actual post:

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Ummm…….Yeah…….You see. This is not what it looks like…

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*I am hesitating* ….. 😛

I know I am pathetic. But I’ll leave you with a very interesting excerpt from HPMoR.

Did some plans call for waiting? Yes, many plans called for delayed action; but that was not the same as hesitating to choose. Not delaying because you knew the right moment to do what was necessary, but delaying because you couldn’t make up your mind—there was no cunning plan which called for that.

Did you sometimes need more information to choose? Yes, but that could also turn into an excuse for delaying; and it would be tempting to delay, when you were faced with a choice between two painful alterna- tives, and not choosing would avoid the mental pain for a time. So you would pick a piece of information you couldn’t easily obtain, and claim that you couldn’t possibly decide without it; that would be your excuse. Although if you knew what information you needed, knew when and how you would obtain that information, and knew what you would do depending on each possible observation, then that was less suspicious as an excuse for hesitating.

If you weren’t just hesitating, you ought to be able to choose in advance what you would do, once you had the extra information you claimed you needed.

*Now imagine the next sentence being said in parseltongue; hissed*

But remember thiss, boy, other eventss proceed without you. Hessitation iss alwayss eassy, rarely usseful.

 

via Daily Prompt: Hesitate

Title Unavailable

 Disclaimer: This post is not one of those where I mumble about nothing for half an hour and waste valuable server space. I just couldn’t think of a suitable title and one more “Chaotic Life” would be an overkill.

A happy new year to my one or two readers. I know, it is such a pity that this poor boy writes in hopes of getting views but he gets no likes or comments. Well, I’m done with all these pretences. I just want to commit to a regular writing schedule, that’s it. If it were twitter, I’d post something along the lines of #NewYearNewMe. If it was facebook, I would check in at the nearest bar with two others I hate spending time with. With instagram it’d be a selfie with girls in the background pouting with the tag #NewYearsEve. But, I love 9gag so I spent my time browsing memes, replying with did not read it gif (removed) and asking help from captains.

I was not attacked with Zubat’s confuse ray in the past , hence I do not mistake my blog for my personal diary. You won’t find any information which I do not wish to be known publicly.

… Yeah….what was this post about again??Nevermind. 

About updates: I am learning dance for my Aunt’s wedding, I updated to macOS, gained a few kilograms and lost a good amount of money due to my carelessness. On a romantic front, I am still as single as ever. Also the update for my intellect is still unavailable. The only good thing I did for the past few months was not getting depressed (When you think about it, there’s a victory in that).

Blah blah blah. This was how interesting my past few months have been. All in all, it was just another brick in the wall and I have become comfortably numb. The grass was greener, days were sweeter and with friends surrounding. 

I’ll leave you here today. I just want to keep my writing habit polished. A bad day for blogging indeed. Just keep in mind the third law of thermodynamics which is named “second law” because the third law was ridiculously simple and they had to rename it to zeroth law.