The Small Things

Wow! Two posts, on the same day! Is it Christmas already? Yeah, it was. But, you know what I mean.

I was reading something about history and wondered how the people lived in the old days. I have looked at paintings, focussed on the photographs, bent my head over books written in a dead language and even listened to stories from my grandmum and grandad. They seem to remember only few ridiculously unimportant details of their past. I wondered what an average day would feel like in the life of a person 200 years back?

What food would he eat? What type of clothes would he wear? What was an average day in his life like? What would he do for social interaction? What did his bed look like? . . . Then I had a brilliant idea to put down my little stuff (not talking about my small penis) preserved. I thought too much valuable information is being lost because all the people do it and it’d be considered foolish to take note of it.

Thus, my brilliant mind had an idea to change the way people write, to make sure no information is lost, ever , and to make millions and billions in terms of money…….. Only to find that what I was thinking of is a diary. A fucking diary. A small notebook which is generally found in the hands of teenage girls.

*Starts to question his own sanity and masculinity*


A Rant on Introverts

Against the Introverts, by an Introvert

I hate tags in all forms. Be it clothes, weblogs, lifestyle or price tags. No, not actually hate; I just don’t think they have a point except for prices and various other consumer details. I am sure you’d agree with me when I say that our society over-generalises everything nowadays. And now since I’ve got you to agree on this one tiny thing, you’ll agree with me that we introverts are what is wrong with the world today (because I’ve read about Ben Franklin Effect).

Yes, we have always shyed away from the spotlight, but know who holds the reins when it comes to working behind the scenes. Majority of artists, writers, scientists and internet trolls are us. We seem to be quiet around people. But give us anonymous masks and see our true colours shine through. We can be the most obnoxious people you will ever meet in your pathetically short life.

Introverts are self obsessed to the point that it hurts those who watch them. Look at us fumble, tumble and rumble as we keep our heads down and walk around. We NEED to stay alone, we don’t LIKE to stay alone (just as I need to wash myself daily, I don’t like it). We stay in our ivory towers, looking down on people who are a bit more social than us. We like giving off orders and make sure to punish those who don’t follow them.

We tend to belittle others because well, we have been made fun of too. We would have made an ‘Introverts Club’ and met regularly, but our natural inclination won’t let us be around so many strangers. The only support you see us giving to social causes is a share button. We may prefer texting over talking and staying outdoors with a book. You may find us in Libraries or swimming pools or taking a hike or painting or even conducting a scientific research. But generally we are behind the screen of computers and mobile phones.

All I am trying to say is, the world may see introverts as shy and awkward people; we are. We like to show ourselves as being holier than everyone; we aren’t. But we are all much more. We all are. That includes the extroverts too.






You are ‘mean’

An Average Story

All my life I have been defined as an average kid. Not a normal one; just average! Average by looks, built, smartness and pathetic in terms of coolness. But I never let it get to my heart. I worked hard and showed them that they were right.

I got myself thinking, what exactly people mean when they called me average? Do they mean that I was the sum of the total human beings divided by the total number of human beings? Or was I the most frequently occurring human being that they know of? Or somehow I had all the traits found in human beings? Or maybe that everyone was exactly like me. As usual, I went to the great reddit library where all the masterminds of the internet come to discuss useless ideas. I came up with the following information:

Average = Total of elements/No. of elements

or Average (geometric mean)= nth root of product of n numbers

or Average (harmonic mean) = Number of elements/sum of reciprocals of elements

or Average (median) = The middlemost value in a sorted array

or Average (mode) = The most frequently occurring value in a sample

Not sure where to proceed with that, I logged out of my account and decided to have a nap. But as usual, I stared at the ceiling for a few hours thinking up some clever idea to have fun with ‘mean’. Consider a case of marks of 10 students in an exam : 10,8,7,7,6,7,6,8 ,8 and 7 (the teacher wont give marks in decimals and there was a point for trying). The average of these values comes out as:

Arithmetic mean: 7.4 Geometric Mean: 7.32 Mode:7 Median:7 Harmonic Mean:7.24

Here, the means gave me no means to make sense of the data. I mean none of the students got 7.4, 7.32 or 7.24 marks. I am pretty sure if there was a different set of data, I wouldn’t have gotten proper values for the median as well as mode.

Majority of the people got lower than 7.4, 7.32 or 7.24 marks (a total of 6). This might imply that majority of the people are below average (contradictory to what you might believe).

The median did not divide the population strictly into halves. Only two people were below and four were above the median. If there were no duplicate marks, it’d have done that.

The geometric mean and harmonic mean would have failed miserably when even one of the students got zero marks (just consider it for my sake this time).

The closest I’ve come to a real explanation is here. But they say that the term geometric mean is the arithmetic mean of graphs and I lost my mind (actually I think I lost it long back).

I think the average is just a mathematical concept, not existing in real life. You might never meet the average person, the average score of a player doesn’t give you any useful information except that he/she is a regular at scoring high. The “average ” person has lesser than two eyes, the average good weather can definitely ruin an outdoor picnic. The whole concept of ‘mean’ makes very less sense to me.The statistics and percentage figures leave me with a sense of bewilderment.

The ‘means’ are definitely mean. Perhaps some of you would care to explain the concepts to me.

A Thought’s Journey

I have been thinking. I have been thinking about thinking. I have been thinking about thinking even when I am not thinking about thinking. Sometimes, I do not think about anything in particular and then think what I was thinking then. Confused eh? Well I get mental bruises on my elbows too when I do that; but anything to keep the brain in a good shape. Quoting the words of the great Dr. Richard Phillips Feynman

” I wonder why. I wonder why.

I wonder why I wonder.

I wonder why I wonder why

I wonder why I wonder!”

This led me to investigate the process of formation of ideas in the seldom used human brain. Hence, this entry will be about my thoughts and the journey of thought to idea to action. (Now, I have used ‘investigate’, but this just means that I laid on my sofa and stared at the ceiling). Hence, 25 revisions later, I give to you….. A Thought’s Chaotic Journey

It begins with an unexpected stimulus. You see, hear, taste, smell or touch something and your mind instantly makes a connection. It’s like your thoughts finally found words (or equivalent) to come to life. Also known to many as the “Ahh” moment *Archimedes and his fans call it the Eureka moment, though it comes with a side effect of running around naked* . It is where you either see the end product with crystal clarity or simply a  vague outline, surrounded by fog of practicality;sometimes even less. Either way, this first step provides the initial push needed for that particular electric signal to enter the conscious mind completely.

Once you are conscious of a thought, you may accept or reject its contents depending on the mood.Your hearts always beat a bit faster and you may think of all centuries, millenniums or even seconds ahead with the idea’s image in your mind. This I think is the closest I can describe intuition. *If you are into random facts, scientists are now advocating that  intuition is nothing more than repeated thinking for a long time which has now become effortless*. Now, once the thought enters the conscious realm, it becomes an idea. You can decide to be consumed by it or simply discard it.  In this phase, the thought is like a teenager. Your thought will go through many changes, will eventually mellow down, will bear strong roots, take up parts from similar and opposite thoughts, will shatter fellow thoughts, will tear itself apart before finally settling down to a mature form. The funny thing is this process may sometimes take less than a second.

In the third step the idea if accepted, manifests itself into actions. You can abort the idea now if and only if the result is not favourable. The End. *All steps do not have to be complicated you know* (But the thought changes from a desire to an intention is this final step. If planted with enough subtlety, you may not be aware if the idea was originally yours or someone else’s.)

Enough for now, I’ll give you more insights later. *I will have to think of a better closing line than the 2nd law of thermodynamics.*


Through the looking grass

A Stoned Blogger

With an irrelevant picture that subconciously distracts you from the low quality content 

**/ Dear Government Intelligence Agencies, this work is completely fictional and I do not know where or how or who deals in/with cannabis/**

The experience of good quality grass enjoyed with a group of good friends is hard to explain. We talk about things which should not be trifled with. Things like

“What if we fry a boiled egg?”

“Who is John Galt?”

“What was going on in his mind when man first learned to milk a cow?”

“Does buffalo salad contain buffalo or chicken?”

“Why do all the fans rotate  anti-clockwise?”

“How can I can a can as canners can a can?”

“Maybe it wasn’t the killing curse that struck Harry”

” Maybe winter came before the chicken or egg”

“What if everything isn’t grey, just plain black and white; what would happen to Sasha Grey or Christian Grey?”

Sometimes we even talk of everyday issues:

-An electron would float everywhere if an atom were to be isolated.

-The only identity of our’s is the brain. If we could preserve the brain, we could theoretically preserve ourselves.

-There is no continuity in matter. Yet, there are definite boundaries of objects.

-The Raven just reflected Poe’s dark inner fears, just like the three witches did Hamlet’s.

-You can mix red and white to get yellow paint, you just have to add a little yellow paint first.

– If edward could hear thoughts, why didn’t he hear Alice’s when she was seeing the future?

-Stirring is more effective when done in criss-cross rather than circular.

-You can not eliminate faliures, you just have to maximize success.
We are rare gems eh? We have long debated about happiness and how can it hinder true development. We know how being happy is a bit overrated, while being content is the true object to be coveted. We think of how we are a product of our environment, yet how the environment is a projection of our own minds. We wonder the fragility of our beliefs and how one carefully worded question peirces them. We talk of the coherence of basic thought processes between friends, limitations of imagination, the purpose of existence, the illusion of understanding, the boundaries between contradiction & the concept of boundaries without limitation.

But we never seem to remeber any good ideas after we have sobered up, maybe the ideas dissolve away into oblivion to increase the overall entropy of our universe.

Thought Index

The Way of the Thought

Sometimes (read most of the times), I sit idly and stare at the ceiling, trying to not think of anything. My monkey-brain resists this process with the fullest of his strength and insists on jumping from one thought-branch to another. It got me thinking;  if I try to keep a track of all my thoughts, maybe something magical would happen. I called it the ‘Thought Index’ and searched it all over the internet (thanks to my shitty internet connection, it took me over 2 hours).

As you’d have guessed, this process is very old and is used all over the world , known as freewriting or stream-of-consciousness. It came as quite a shock to me. In fact, I have noted it down as the fourth worst thing that has ever happened to me. …… Now, you might be interested in what are the top three.. I know you are. Here goes:

No.3: My girlfriend slept with my best friend while she was dating me (sad thing is we were all just 15 years old)

No.2: I made a vow in front in front of the whole class that I’ll invent dehydrated water, fat-free butter and digestible chewing gum. I am sad to hear that last two have already been invented and the first one is on its way.

NUMBER 1:  I drank apple cider vinegar once, thinking it was Mountain Dew. I have had trust issues since then.

*Steam starts to flow out of ears* *Takes a deep breath* *Exhales dramatically*

Now, where was I?…… Yes, Thought Index. Basically, I think and write thoughts down to review them later. Harder than rocket science huh? The problem is that mind becomes clearer than a white space when you want it to actually think. Also, your mind focusses so clearly on the task at hand (like writing) that it stops all distractions and extra thoughts from forming. Naturally, if I ask my brain to do this while I am studying something seriously it not only allows all the background noises to distract me,but it also dwells in its own memories. Thank you idiot brain.

 If I wanted, I could give you an example of a thought index. I’d look at my thought rocket (trains are not fast enough) and then would make guesses about the thought transition phase and their mutual correlation. Because Sigmund Freud said that the first phase of learning psychoanalysis is practice on self (well, that was how I learnt about sex too). But, you guys have already wasted much of your time over this post.

The main idea is, and always will be: to be chaotic. The process of learning how your mind jumps will enable you to make those jumps easier. You will then be able to perform an action I call ‘Thought Shuffle’. This move will be able to help you against an enemy who can have the ability to read your mind. More about that on a related post.

And just like a good boy, I will say my ‘grace’. Dear lord, help me to never forget that the total entropy must always increase.

Note: It is still not definitive, but scientists have found that for nano-particles, the overall entropy may decrease.