Blogging Mistakes – 101

It has been a long time since this blog has taken birth. What came as a pleasant surprise that some people actually read what I have written. Although I do like tiny yellow dots on that notification bell, I care about people too much to see them wasting their time. Time, which could be used on increasing their physical strength, looking for newer ways to challenge their creativity, learn to do quick calculation in their head, master an art, learn a foreign language, honing mental abilities, solving puzzles, oss  (or some shit).

I can not teach you to develop inquisitiveness, interest, ambitions or passion. Those things are developed naturally. For example, one can read hundred books on becoming an author. But not one of them will help him (for ambiguity) to create a good story. Things like that come from something inside of our minds.

Now where was I, yes. Blogging mistakes. I got sidetracked. Which is our mistake  number 1. Do not drift off-topic. Readers have limited time. They are busy looking at cat pictures. Hence, if you fail to stick to the subject at hand, you’ve made a wrong move.

Mistake number 2 is when you fail to attach media to your post. Always use a picture. It gives the reader something to look at while they pretend to read. Better if that picture is of a celebrity, or a cat. Maybe attach a video of a cat doing funny things.

The third thing you might be doing wrong is that you are using too less tags. Always tag your blog entries with funny, serious,cat, cate, dog, doggo, pupper, your name, bored, a famous celebrity, sherlock, wordpress, fresh. This way your blog will pop up on more search queries.

Mistake number 4: Not socialising. A blog rarely goes viral. People can look at a 30 minute video but will not read a 2 min long post. So, it is your responsibility to visit the “uncategorised ” section looking for new bloggers to follow. They’ll appreciate the gesture and follow you back as a thank-you. Also make sure to leave comments on featured blogs. That does not make you look like an attention seeker. People look at those comments and think “Hmm..he must a down to earth guy. Let’s check his blog”

Mistake number 5: Not using money. Your posts maybe of gold value, but they wont reach a wide audience. This is because some losers have already paid for their mediocre blogs to be featured on must-reads. Do yourself a favour and pay those advertising agents to reach a lot more people.

Mistake number 6: Pray, do not think yourself as an already successful author. You may think that people will hate your blog, challenge your beliefs, or refute your opinions. But sadly, some of your posts will not even be read. Avoid the mistake of giving up too early (like 5 years).

See. Am I not a great teacher? Never mind, do not answer that.

A Writer’s Block

Or do you prefer if I call it the Blogger’s block? How about a blog’s block? Sometimes I just want my monkey brain to not make a racket every time I try to concentrate.

Note (or do not note; I really can’t command you) : This is provided as an actual insight to whatever happens during a writer’s block. You all will probably have had the same sets of thoughts some time or the other. Even if you used different words like bottled up feelings or hollow emptiness, I am pretty sure you will understand what I was thinking .I know my writing (typing) style takes a hell lot of time to get used to; but 21 posts is enough. If you don’t want me to continue, dear lord, please do not give me a sign. *Waits* *Nothing Happens* Thank you.

I don’t consider myself a writer, I don’t write regular columns or rows for big-traffic generating websites. I don’t even know if I should label myself as a blogger. What are the minimum requirements? Do I have to have a mac? Do I need a certain number of posts? Should I write with certain frequency? Is there a minimum number of views and likes required? Do I need a custom domain? Or do I have to add my profile picture or a random nature pic after every post? Or does it depend on the number of comments my blog has? Do I have to be featured in the weekly newsletter? Must I visit some remote locations and try street food and review it? Maybe I should be struggling for some sort of breakthrough that’ll make me famous overnight.

Dear WP administrators, maybe you should update your “frequently” asked questions. I am sure I am more curious about myself rather than how WP works. 😛

Now, the writer’s block is a period when a writer is stuck creatively. He/she is not able to continue his unfinished works and struggles to write new things. This is where majority of us are most of the time. I mean I have to crawl through mental sewage of ideas just to put up a decent headline. I can not imagine Robert Brown writing Da Vinci’s Code and Angels & Demons one after the other while suffering from a block once in a month or so. Actually scratch that.  That is probably exactly what happened. But for most of us, we are stuck most of the time. And we need not make an unnecessary blog post about it.

Then there is this other thing called internet. It has all the recipes for getting out of any situation. I think I have even read a how-to about How To Be A God. This means that theoretically, we have the solution even before the problem is fully developed. This is where we have lost. The enemy has found our one weakness: we have the solution to ALL of the problems. What we lack is the knowledge of all the problems.

Too much eh? I know.  This is why I prefer to write about concrete topics. At least you don’t get to judge me based on the content. Yup, I’ll post 10 fun and interesting facts next time. Just to be by myself. *Insert the boring closing line about entropy continuing to increase*.